Monday, November 30, 2009
Hanging Lights on the House
Happy Thanksgiving!
We are Thankful
Visiting the Dentist!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Giving Thanks - 3 Months later
My twins are 3 months old today.
I am wondering if there will ever be a time when I can look back at the day they were born and not feel panic.
I have not "officially" documented their birth on this blog. I wrote about it in my journal, but have not been ready to share my feelings about that day....until today.
When I was talking to my Mom this morning, I shared with her some of my intense feelings of panic and anxiety about the day the twins were born. I feel slightly like I have post-traumatic stress syndrome from that day. I asked Mom how I can possibly get over these feelings. She suggested that I focus on the things that I am THANKFUL for - thankful for the outcome of that day. I want to be able to tell the twins about the day they were born and not feel like I am about to hyperventilate. So here it goes - my experiment in thankfulness instead of panic.
This story of Gratitude starts on August 18th, a Tuesday. I played up in Sandy with long-time high school friends for the morning. Then I chilled at Mom's house for the rest of the afternoon. I am THANKFUL for my Mom to take care of me and my 3 kids during, what would be, my last day with 3 kids! That night I didn't sleep very well. I was up most of the night feeling uncomfortable - which was like most of my "pregnant with twins" nights.
When I woke up in the morning, I was so uncomfortable that I got right in the bath to ease my pain. I stayed there for an hour just sobbing because I was worried I was having contractions. I am THANKFUL for a big tub - where I spent most of my pregnancy! Josh convinced me to get out of the tub so we could go to the hospital. I am THANKFUL for a husband that can handle my emotions. I called my "BFF" Lacie in tears. Lacie dropped everything and came running home from being out running errands to be there for me. She came ripping on to our street and came running up to give me a big hug. Having the big heart that she does, she shed tears with me. She said she would take the kids so we could go to the hospital. I am THANKFUL for Lacie's good friendship and sisterhood. I can't think about this day without thinking about how awesome Lacie was when I needed her. I hope to return the favor someday! (Looking back, I regret not taking more time to say goodbye to the kids. I think this is the reason for most of Thomas' issues. But I realize I need to let this go, and that I can't do anything about it now.)
The rest of this, I am going to just share from my journal and remind myself of the things I am thankful for. I cried the whole way to the hospital. I was so scared. I was nervous. I wasn't sure if I was really in labor, and if I was ready for the babies to come. It was still early! When we got to the hospital, we were quickly admitted. I am THANKFUL for attentive admitting nurses who could sense I was terrified. I changed into a gown, and the nurses came in and attached monitors and found both heartbeats. They were fine. I am THANKFUL for modern technology with equipment to monitor these things. The nurse checked me and I was almost a 5! Yikes! I started sobbing all over again. The babies were coming today. Josh was on the phone with my mom, his mom, Lacie and Kristin. I am THANKFUL for Kristin who got into my house and brought our camera to the hospital. You cannot have babies and not document it!
I asked for my Dad at the exact same moment he had texted Josh to see if I needed a blessing. (Keep in mind this only brought more tears.) I was so grateful to have my Dad so close! Sometimes you just need your Daddy. I am THANKFUL for my Dad. Josh and Dad were able to give me a blessing right before the anesthesiologist came in. I am THANKFUL for the priesthood and the peace it brings. Dr. Berry came in as well, and I was relieved that he was there. I am THANKFUL for Dr. Berry and the great doctor he is. Dr. Eunice (the anesthesiologist decided to do a spinal instead of an epidural because it would be effective faster. I am THANKFUL for pain free births. I was wheeled off to the OR. I was terrified.
When I go to the OR, Dr. Berry was scrubbed and ready. Dr. Eunice gave me the spinal. He had me lay on my side to give the shot. It worked right away. I couldn't even roll back over! I am THANKFUL for a knowledgeable Dr. to administer these strong drugs. So much could have gone wrong. The nurse cleaned my tummy for the c-section. (They did an ultrasound earlier and determined that Jace was still sitting in my pelvis and wouldn't budge.) I am THANKFUL for ultrasounds. If they couldn't have seen the babies positions, Jace, Sophie or I might not have made it through the process. Dr. Berry and Dr. Reese pulled up the sheet and began.
Josh was so great through this whole thing. He was right by my side the whole time holding my hand, stroking my face, smiling at me - just doing whatever I needed. It was comforting to have him there to take care of me. I am THANKFUL for Josh. He is an amazing, strong man to have endured this day. Mom did make it there before they wheeled me off, but they wouldn't let her in the OR. She waited until the babies came out and was able to be with the babies, so Josh could go back and forth between me and the babies. Once again, I am THANKFUL for my Mom. She is a trooper. I don't know what I would have done with out her!
Once the sheet was up, it was only a matter of minutes before I saw Jace's little face - Dr. Berry showed me around the curtain. That was 11:25 am. I am THANKFUL for Jace. Sophie came at 11:28 am, and I thought she looked alot like Bella. I am THANKFUL for Sophie.
The next 20 minutes or so was spent with me just laying there while they stitched me up. I felt all sorts of weird things. I felt so nauseous at one point that I was trying to throw up. Dr. Eunice was putting all kinds of meds in my IV to counteract everything I was feeling. I am THANKFUL for an attentive doctor, who listened to all my concerns and tried to make me the most comfortable.
The next 20-24 days, the babies were in the NICU. I am THANKFUL for all the nurses and doctors that took care of me and my babies. I am THANKFUL for all the monitors and feeding tubes that helped us know what Jace and Sophie needed. I am THANKFUL for oxygen tubes, billi lights, and Zaky hands. I am THANKFUL for friends and family that took care of me and my family while we tried to take care of our preemie twins.
Today, I am THANKFUL for Jace and Sophie. They are alert, vibrant babies. I am THANKFUL that Jace's single umbilical artery did not affect his growth. I am THANKFUL that Sophie's enlarged ventricles in her brain were not permanent. I am THANKFUL that Sophie's birthmark is starting to get smaller and heal. I am THANKFUL for our health.
I am THANKFUL for Kaley, and all she does to help. I am THANKFUL for Thomas, and the good big brother he is. I am THANKFUL for Bella, who helps me smile and love life every day. I am THANKFUL for Josh - always THANKFUL.
I realize that so many things could have gone bad that day. I know that it was a tough day, but know that I got 2 great gifts from it! I am THANKFUL to my Heavenly Father for entrusting me with 5 of his choice children. I am THANKFUL for my Savior, who allows me to grow and repent for my shortcomings. I am THANKFUL for the Gospel and the anchor that it is in my life. I know that this life is meant to be a challenge and a test. I am THANKFUL for my challenges and trials. I feel like the past three months have been a great trial and blessing, and I am THANKFUL for it!
Happy Thanksgiving!
I am wondering if there will ever be a time when I can look back at the day they were born and not feel panic.
I have not "officially" documented their birth on this blog. I wrote about it in my journal, but have not been ready to share my feelings about that day....until today.
When I was talking to my Mom this morning, I shared with her some of my intense feelings of panic and anxiety about the day the twins were born. I feel slightly like I have post-traumatic stress syndrome from that day. I asked Mom how I can possibly get over these feelings. She suggested that I focus on the things that I am THANKFUL for - thankful for the outcome of that day. I want to be able to tell the twins about the day they were born and not feel like I am about to hyperventilate. So here it goes - my experiment in thankfulness instead of panic.
This story of Gratitude starts on August 18th, a Tuesday. I played up in Sandy with long-time high school friends for the morning. Then I chilled at Mom's house for the rest of the afternoon. I am THANKFUL for my Mom to take care of me and my 3 kids during, what would be, my last day with 3 kids! That night I didn't sleep very well. I was up most of the night feeling uncomfortable - which was like most of my "pregnant with twins" nights.
When I woke up in the morning, I was so uncomfortable that I got right in the bath to ease my pain. I stayed there for an hour just sobbing because I was worried I was having contractions. I am THANKFUL for a big tub - where I spent most of my pregnancy! Josh convinced me to get out of the tub so we could go to the hospital. I am THANKFUL for a husband that can handle my emotions. I called my "BFF" Lacie in tears. Lacie dropped everything and came running home from being out running errands to be there for me. She came ripping on to our street and came running up to give me a big hug. Having the big heart that she does, she shed tears with me. She said she would take the kids so we could go to the hospital. I am THANKFUL for Lacie's good friendship and sisterhood. I can't think about this day without thinking about how awesome Lacie was when I needed her. I hope to return the favor someday! (Looking back, I regret not taking more time to say goodbye to the kids. I think this is the reason for most of Thomas' issues. But I realize I need to let this go, and that I can't do anything about it now.)
The rest of this, I am going to just share from my journal and remind myself of the things I am thankful for. I cried the whole way to the hospital. I was so scared. I was nervous. I wasn't sure if I was really in labor, and if I was ready for the babies to come. It was still early! When we got to the hospital, we were quickly admitted. I am THANKFUL for attentive admitting nurses who could sense I was terrified. I changed into a gown, and the nurses came in and attached monitors and found both heartbeats. They were fine. I am THANKFUL for modern technology with equipment to monitor these things. The nurse checked me and I was almost a 5! Yikes! I started sobbing all over again. The babies were coming today. Josh was on the phone with my mom, his mom, Lacie and Kristin. I am THANKFUL for Kristin who got into my house and brought our camera to the hospital. You cannot have babies and not document it!
I asked for my Dad at the exact same moment he had texted Josh to see if I needed a blessing. (Keep in mind this only brought more tears.) I was so grateful to have my Dad so close! Sometimes you just need your Daddy. I am THANKFUL for my Dad. Josh and Dad were able to give me a blessing right before the anesthesiologist came in. I am THANKFUL for the priesthood and the peace it brings. Dr. Berry came in as well, and I was relieved that he was there. I am THANKFUL for Dr. Berry and the great doctor he is. Dr. Eunice (the anesthesiologist decided to do a spinal instead of an epidural because it would be effective faster. I am THANKFUL for pain free births. I was wheeled off to the OR. I was terrified.
When I go to the OR, Dr. Berry was scrubbed and ready. Dr. Eunice gave me the spinal. He had me lay on my side to give the shot. It worked right away. I couldn't even roll back over! I am THANKFUL for a knowledgeable Dr. to administer these strong drugs. So much could have gone wrong. The nurse cleaned my tummy for the c-section. (They did an ultrasound earlier and determined that Jace was still sitting in my pelvis and wouldn't budge.) I am THANKFUL for ultrasounds. If they couldn't have seen the babies positions, Jace, Sophie or I might not have made it through the process. Dr. Berry and Dr. Reese pulled up the sheet and began.
Josh was so great through this whole thing. He was right by my side the whole time holding my hand, stroking my face, smiling at me - just doing whatever I needed. It was comforting to have him there to take care of me. I am THANKFUL for Josh. He is an amazing, strong man to have endured this day. Mom did make it there before they wheeled me off, but they wouldn't let her in the OR. She waited until the babies came out and was able to be with the babies, so Josh could go back and forth between me and the babies. Once again, I am THANKFUL for my Mom. She is a trooper. I don't know what I would have done with out her!
Once the sheet was up, it was only a matter of minutes before I saw Jace's little face - Dr. Berry showed me around the curtain. That was 11:25 am. I am THANKFUL for Jace. Sophie came at 11:28 am, and I thought she looked alot like Bella. I am THANKFUL for Sophie.
The next 20 minutes or so was spent with me just laying there while they stitched me up. I felt all sorts of weird things. I felt so nauseous at one point that I was trying to throw up. Dr. Eunice was putting all kinds of meds in my IV to counteract everything I was feeling. I am THANKFUL for an attentive doctor, who listened to all my concerns and tried to make me the most comfortable.
The next 20-24 days, the babies were in the NICU. I am THANKFUL for all the nurses and doctors that took care of me and my babies. I am THANKFUL for all the monitors and feeding tubes that helped us know what Jace and Sophie needed. I am THANKFUL for oxygen tubes, billi lights, and Zaky hands. I am THANKFUL for friends and family that took care of me and my family while we tried to take care of our preemie twins.
Today, I am THANKFUL for Jace and Sophie. They are alert, vibrant babies. I am THANKFUL that Jace's single umbilical artery did not affect his growth. I am THANKFUL that Sophie's enlarged ventricles in her brain were not permanent. I am THANKFUL that Sophie's birthmark is starting to get smaller and heal. I am THANKFUL for our health.
I am THANKFUL for Kaley, and all she does to help. I am THANKFUL for Thomas, and the good big brother he is. I am THANKFUL for Bella, who helps me smile and love life every day. I am THANKFUL for Josh - always THANKFUL.
I realize that so many things could have gone bad that day. I know that it was a tough day, but know that I got 2 great gifts from it! I am THANKFUL to my Heavenly Father for entrusting me with 5 of his choice children. I am THANKFUL for my Savior, who allows me to grow and repent for my shortcomings. I am THANKFUL for the Gospel and the anchor that it is in my life. I know that this life is meant to be a challenge and a test. I am THANKFUL for my challenges and trials. I feel like the past three months have been a great trial and blessing, and I am THANKFUL for it!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Monday, November 16, 2009
Sunday Family Gathering
We went up to Sandy for dinner yesterday. It has been a while since my family has seen my kids because of all the germs that are going around. My mom starting crying the minute we walked in the door! :) It was fun to hang out with all the family for a bit. It felt like an early Thanksgiving!
Also, an update on Sophie: I took her to the pediatric dermatologist on Friday. She said that hemangiomas are normal and common in infants, but Sophie's is in an unfortunate spot. She said because of it's location and size already, something needed to be done. Usually these birthmarks grow until they are 6-9 months, then plateau and slowly shrink in size and eventually disappear within a few years. So, she suggested that we do steroid treatments for a few months. This will basically stop the birthmark from getting any bigger. We could do them in a oral form, or injections. The oral form had way more side effects, so we chose the injections. It was awful to watch, but I can tell the difference in it already! It was a rough weekend, with little sleep, but she is hopefully starting to do better! The ulcers are almost completely gone, and the overall size of the birthmark is smaller. So that is good!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Sounds like life...
So here's a little update of what we've been up to:
Kaley:
- Rides her bike WITHOUT training wheels
- Loves preschool
- Loves to read
- Can TIE her own shoes
- Mom's right hand girl!
Thomas:
- Hangs out with Mom all day
- Being better at re-potty training
- Loves to read
- Loves to golf
- Is a Great big brother to Jace
Bella:
See entry below
Jace and Sophie:
- Still sleeps most of the day
- Smiling
- Waking up only once during the night
- Not a fan of tummy time
Kaley:
- Rides her bike WITHOUT training wheels
- Loves preschool
- Loves to read
- Can TIE her own shoes
- Mom's right hand girl!
Thomas:
- Hangs out with Mom all day
- Being better at re-potty training
- Loves to read
- Loves to golf
- Is a Great big brother to Jace
Bella:
See entry below
Jace and Sophie:
- Still sleeps most of the day
- Smiling
- Waking up only once during the night
- Not a fan of tummy time
My Bella Rose:
I have to take a minute to post about this little cutie! It always makes me so sad to see the "baby" of the family not be the baby anymore! She does the cutest, and sometimes most annoying, things right now. These first pictures are of the most annoying thing she does. Lately our Monkey doesn't like to eat. I fix a yummy dinner, and she just sits there and cries. Once I have her convinced to take a bite, she lets it mull around in her mouth until it makes her gag and spit it up! Ew. Then she starts saying, "No like - like!" through her tears! This is every night at dinner. I can't even remember what she likes to eat! She does eat crackers, so that is what she is living off of. ( I took her to the Dr, and she has an ear infection and a sinus infection, so maybe this is the root of her lack of appetite. We'll see when she is off the antibiotics.) Needless to say, dinners at our house are not so enjoyable.
Bella has the cutest little quirks right now! I just wanted to save a few of them!
- When you ask her a question, she always starts out with "Um...."
- She LOVES to play with cards
- She is into little things.
- She is into Thomas' tool set, and can work a screwdriver pretty darn well!
- She is VERY ticklish!
- She sleeps with a blanket that Grandma Cox made her that has little "holes" in the corners. She calls it her "special."
- Says "a-nut-nut" for the word another
- Everything has two words. "play play" "read read" "nigh nigh" "ride ride"
- Calls her family: "Mom Mom, Da Da, Kay Kay, Tom Tom, Bell Bell, Jay Jay, Fee Fee"
- Loves her Gram Grams and Pop Pops (Grandmas and Grandpas)
- Has learned how to fake cry like a pro
- Tells "Tom Tom" when he's being "mean mean" and makes him "kiss kiss and love love"
- When she DOES like something, she says "Mmm, I like-like!"
- She is a lush! She loves to drink milk, chocolate milk, all juices and water!
- Loves to help "Mom Mom" pick out her outfit for the day.
- Takes her socks off by going over the toes first! This is hilarious to watch! (Meaning she takes the top of the sock, and pulls it down to her toes first and takes it off that way, rather than pulling it off her heel first!)
- Often takes her pants off in the middle of the night
- Still has a binky that she calls something that sounds more like a sound effect: "bumm bumm" with a buzz of the lips!
- Loves to give hugs and kisses to everyone
- She loves to read books
- She is borderline obsessed with blocks and can build a mean tower!
- My favorite of all: Mom: I love you, Bella Rose. Bella: I Love Love.
There's my sweet girl in a few nap shots! So sad she isn't the littlest baby anymore, but she will always be my Baby!
Sunday, November 01, 2009
A Blessed Day
We are sad to not have any pictures with my parents, but Danielle had swine flu this week and came home from BYU. She is doing better, but I am paranoid of germs right now and didn't have my family come back to the house for pictures. Just know that they were there for the blessing and shared in that special time, but didn't share their germs! :)
AND, Can I just say how much fun it is to take pictures of TWO babies?! I just love how precious my little family looks in their Sunday best! I have the greatest family! How lucky am I to be Mommy to 5 adorable kids?!
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